Only For Laugh's

[ETc|Sparky]

"A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knocking' mate, there's no paper in this one either.""

[ETc|A^DARKNESS)]

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

thanks bro

[ETc|A^DARKNESS)]

MAKING COFFEE
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly.

You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.

LAYING A CARPET
Laying a carpet is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

HANGING WALLPAPER
Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

PUTTING UP A TENT
Putting up a tent, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'.. slip in to the old bag.

WASHING A CAR
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.

BEING IN THERAPY
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You.. get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

BEING IN A CRASH
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.

GOING FISHING
Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.

Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.

[ETc|Sparky]

Glad to know am not the only mad man Matt lol

[ETc|A^DARKNESS)]

oh,we are all mad ,some dont know it,some wont admit it

[ETc|Br0k3n]

o.O, crazy mofos buahahahahahahaha

[etcpojjo]

lol

[ETc|T!BaL**]

@sparky:

You know what is 2 holes in 1 hole?

My nose in your ass!

Teab

[QpiD]

Do u know how to hunt monkeys ask Tom to his friend.

his friend: No

tom: i ll show you, for hunting monkey u need a dog, a fishing net and a rifle. I ll climb this tree, i ll shake it, the monkey will fall down on the fishing net and the dog will imobilize him by biting his testicles.

His friend: And what for the rifle then ????

Tom: in case, i fall down.... u kill the dog!

[Blazkowicz]

"A Shy Young Guy Goes to Bar & Sees A Beautiful girl sitting alone..
He Gathers some Courage, Goes to her Table & Asks: "Would you Mind if i Sit Here Besides you?"
She Responds Loudly: "No I don't wanna spend Night with you!"
Everyone At Bar Turned & Stared the guy.
Young Guy Shocked &
Embarrassed Goes Back to his table.

After Few Minutes That Girl Slowly walks to him, apologizes & Says "You see I'm a Student In Psychology & Studying how People respond to Embarrassing Situations !"
Guy Responds Loudly "What! $ 30,000/- for one Night? That's Too Much!"

Everyone Stares at the girl,
Guy Silently Whispers "Don't mess with me" "

Made in Bulgaria, btw! Nice one